What is love?

I have heard it said, in a quote about the heart, that "Love is what you've been through with someone." 

I was impressionable at the time I read this, and I've thought about this phrase many times since. In just a few words, I have found many a meaning, and I continue to find more over time: 

The first, is that love is not some magical property, it is more an equation of intersecting time and proximity. Familiarity breeds affection, and given enough of it, you can get through just about anything, with anyone. 

The second is that what you've been through—the ups, the downs, the waterfalls, the roller coasters of life—that's all there is. Relationships are but one one knot tied to another, an embroidery that is detailed and beautiful (and yes, even time consuming!)

The third, is "what you've been through" could be as simple as living in a group or under the same roof, for even a few days time. This sort of intimacy, simple cohabitation, if it does not drive you off altogether, will most certainly draw you closer. 

The fourth is that it's the hardships and triumphs in life that tie you to others in a way that smooth sailing, or easy contentment, will forget. Days blend together when life is boring, but when things get interesting, time can stand still.

It also means, to me, that love does not have to be about one person, or embody one space in time. Love in all it's contexts is not simply family or mate. You go through many things, with many people, and if you're lucky, most of them will intertwine.

Finally, this simple sentiment, introduced to me so long ago, has taught me that all these things, and every single encounter, contributes to how you feel about a person and they of you, for better or worse, for as long as you know them. 

So if given the right nurturing, if that feeling doesn't grow in lightness and in love—in true and genuine connection, even when a person's burden is heavy—then I'd say your heart is a cold one and your love is nothing to bring home. 

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